Something is blocking me from being nostalgic .. something is blocking me from faking age and maturity, yet not looking back in yerning.
     Fully aware that officially I am a grown up .. this ofcourse occured in about 3 days time... she fell inlove, she lost her love, she was aloud to stay in the house alone overnight without the aid or grandparents ... these are all major events ... 

     Its strange to look away from yourself for the first time in a while, and see what others still can't. Or see what you wish others would. Lately, in my bed, half asleep, other things come to mind than tomorrows chores or errands that have to be run..lately there is a pressure that begins in my chest .. creeping up into my throat .. a cold sweat gathers between my breasts ... and I realize ...

Fuck! It's senior year!